Drabble #1: Aham Brahmasmi!

 

He said he lived a long time. They thought he was telling a story. He based his story on facts. They thought he pulled them out of a textbook. He argued that the facts came first and the textbook next. They thought he was arrogant. He said he was a man who was once revered. They thought he was Jesus. He said the sound was always John!

COFFEE DREAMS – 3

“I miss you..!”

“Why do all these conversations between us start like this?”

“None of them were ever intended to.”

“But somehow they always do.”

“Because these conversations happen only then.”

“How can you miss me when I have been here all this while?”

“I am in the quest for an answer for the same and I need your help.”

“How can I help you when the quest is yours? And why should I?”

“Because at some level, the quest is yours too. Because for some time, the journey is yours too.”

“What changed now?”

“Just a realization that we think similarly in most situations except when a conflict occurs.”

“Why does a conflict occur in the first place if we think similarly in most situations?”

“Perhaps there lies the conflict.”

“How is that a conflict?”

“As much as we empathize with each other on an emotional level and as much as we know about each other, there is still a lot we want to know about each other and want each other to know about ourselves.”

“True. But that doesn’t sound like a conflict.”

“It is not exactly a conflict by itself. But when we communicate with each other about that on different pages, a conflict arises.”

“How were we not on the same page in the first place?”

“There comes the point of freedom into the scene. When you want to know me, you kind of know what you want to know of me. You ask. I don’t. When I want to know you, I want you to decide what I should know of you. I want you to tell me what I know of you and what I don’t. I want you to tell me what I should know to know YOU. I believe in giving more freedom than I take.”

“Then, why don’t you tell when I ask?”

“I do tell. But I realized that what I tell is not always the truth. And I also realized that I don’t realize that I am not telling the truth.”

“What does that mean?”

“When a person changes, he changes towards a particular vision of his own. So was I. I was trying so much to be the person I wanted to be that I always told myself that I became that person. But a conflict arises when you are not exactly the person you wanted to be YET, but you say you are. And when a situation which tests your character comes to the fore, you can never be sure which trait comes forward.”

“Hmmm… Why don’t you ask what you want to know?”

“I am scared of taking liberty. I am scared because that makes me call you a friend.”

“Am I not?”

“You are. And no one is better than you are. You are the closest who came to being called one.”

“What stopped you?”

“The same conflict which brought up this discussion in the first place.”

“You still can.”

“There is not enough time.”

“Did time ever stop anything from happening that’s bound to happen?”

“Never. But from my vanity point, I see a limited time available. There is a lot of ground to be recovered and covered. The question is whether to make the best use of the limited time, or not care enough about it because the time is limited.”

“What now?”

LONG DUE..

Long due was a long conversation

Long due was a long drive for the same

Long due was a nod of approval

Long due was a hug of relief.

Never before was the truth so honest

Never before was honesty so simple

Never before was simplicity so pure

Never before was purity so true.

True came the coffee dreams

True were the hidden truths

True were the untold words

True came everything except the fears.

Unasked question were answered

Untold feelings were unmasked

Uncomfortable silence was far

Unanticipated changes reminisced

The heart is light and the mind now calm,

For pouring the heart in and out,

With a spoon of sugar and a pinch of salt,

Life has just become more beautiful..!

AND THE BELLS RANG..

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon.

I was sitting in the living room trying to fix a broken tape-recorder giving an impression of omniscience to the outsiders, but the truth evident to everyone that I do not know anything electrical – one of the reasons why I couldn’t clear IIT-JEE mains. My father came into the house with a tired but happy expression, after which looked like a hectic but successful morning behind him, and said, “Get ready fast. We have to go see the girl.”

My parents have been looking for a suitable girl for me from the past few weeks.

We went to the girl’s house and knocked on the door. Her father opened the door and welcomed us in. And there she was standing in a black t-shirt and white shorts cleaning the dust on some books. She welcomed us and went inside to get ready. I was shocked at seeing her attire that I didn’t have the time to look at her face or her beauty. And my thoughts started wandering everywhere – “How will a conservative and traditional family like mine  accept a girl who is in a t-shirt and shorts when the boy’s family goes to see her?”

While my mind is messing itself up with all such thoughts, she entered back into the living room decked in a red pattu saree, in perhaps shockingly the least amount of time I saw a woman dress up. And my brain stopped thinking and went blank looking at her beauty. I did not realize I was just staring at her until she came to me and said, “C’mon. Let’s go.”

And there I go into shock again! I was not sure how much time passed after we came, or what our dads were talking, or where our moms were (of course, kitchen!), or what her father was asking me. May be, my brain was thinking too much to listen to anything else – until she came. I wasn’t sure what to respond and looked at her father for permission. Her father nodded smiling, “We will give you both some time.Talk to each other and come back.” I was surprised at the response because he hasn’t asked me any questions that a guy is asked in an arranged marriage – or at least what I thought would be asked. May be, he did and may be, I answered. I was in a shock to remember anything that happened until then.

We went for a walk. I felt the flood of happiness drowning me. I didn’t know why. I haven’t talked to her yet. I haven’t looked her in the eyes yet. I haven’t heard her voice yet. Yet, I was walking on clouds. I slowly turned my face to look at her. And I realized she was talking. I tried to listen to what she was saying. I couldn’t. I realized I was just staring at her. I pinched myself to come to senses and to listen what she was talking. She wasn’t talking about marriage, life after that, her, me or us. She was just talking randomly – like you talk to a very old friend – like you talk to yourself – like you talk to the soul which defines you. At the same time, I also realized that she talks a lot – and it was the same thing that makes her so beautiful and complete.

A lot of questions popped up in my mind then. “I am a good listener and I can listen to her for any long. But if at all I want to talk, will she give me a chance to talk?”, “If she talks so much, will she take the decisions and be the head of the house and make me a puppet?”, “I have some questions which I want to ask her now. How can I stop her?” I knew the answer. But, with a sense of doubt, I slowly looked behind. Our dads were walking few yards behind us and moms few feet behind them. They also wanted to talk and perhaps, they also found the unconfined space of the roads better than the confined space of a living room. I looked at my dad trying to ask all these doubts in mind. He replied with the most satisfactory smile I have ever seen of his and looked at my mom. She understood his smile and looked at her little kid grown up. They were smiling at my helpless happiness.

And that was my answer to all the questions. It was the same happiness which anyone would ever want in a life to start together, irrespective of all the questions that pop up.

Gathering all the courage from within, I stopped her and asked her the most important question for an answer I was supposed to know, “What is your name?” She started laughing.

The bells started ringing. I slowly turned to my side. It was 4:15 AM and it was my first alarm for the morning!

COFFEE DREAMS – 2

“I missed you..!”

“After all this time?”

“Always!”

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing more than what was said.”

“But there are others for you.”

“I don’t miss talking with them. Because I talk with them.”

“Why do you have to talk with me?”

“Because I want to. Because you talk well with many people and I also want to be one of them.”

“Are you jealous?”

“No. Not jealous because someone else has something which I don’t have. It is just that I too could have had that.”

“Chance? Or choice?”

“Chance, once. Choice, now.”

“Sometimes all you have to do is ask.”

“I want to. But I fear the response.”

“What do you think the response will be?”

“Another set of questions just like everything that came out of your mouth until now.”

“What do you want the response to be?”

“After all this… I don’t know.”

“What if you had a choice to go back?”

“I would choose the same what I chose and be where I am. I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday.  And I don’t regret any of the choices I made. In fact, I am happy I made those.”

“What is it you would want to change then?”

“The results of those choices.”

“Why do you think it has become so complicated?”

“Because we don’t live in the past. But the past doesn’t go anywhere. Every day that passes by, a day is added to it from the future.”

“But the present remains always the same. Just one day. Just this moment.”

“Yes. This moment. The same moment which defines me or you or anyone, for that matter. The present. The only consolation between all the confusions.”

“What is the confusion?”

“Whether to call or not. Whether to meet or not. Whether to explain or not. Whether to want to do all these or not. I miss the friendship that was. Not that I can be the same person I was nor do I expect you to be the same person you were. But when I see people around us happy with their friendships with others, with you and with me, it makes me wonder if we could be the same old friends again.”

“I do not want to be called a friend by anyone nor will I call someone one.”

“That does not stop you from being one.”