SILENCE

It is perhaps, the most dangerous weapon than anything else in this world. I fear silence more than anything else. I fear my own silence. At the same time, I love it too. Silence is golden, goes the saying. Silence makes more meaning, in depth of a single meaning as well as the number of interpretations. It is the purest music that can be heard. When some person is silent, there may be many interpretations for that silence. There may be anger behind that silence. There may be love. There may be a wounded heart. There may be fear. There may be pride. There may be affection. There may be commitment and dedication. There may be laziness. There may be reluctance. There may be anything. There may be much more.

The anger in silence makes more impact than the anger in words. It is frightening to others. Sometimes, unbearable too. Especially when a person who talks all the time in a day, whom everybody request to keep quiet, is silent for an hour or so by himself without anyone telling him, then people around him who got used to him are more frightened by that silence rather than being happy. They cannot invite that forced silence. It becomes unbearable. It is like the silence after a storm, which is more frightening.The silence comes in different forms. The frightening silence after a storm. The inviting silence at the dawn, with the birds setting out to find their food. The eerie silence at the night. The pleasant silence in a temple. The welcoming silence on a hilltop with the air blowing in ears. The bloody silence after a battle. The lovely silence between lovers. The unbearable silence between estranged couples. The silent sleep of a small kid. The heavy silence before a verdict. The silence in anger. The silence in submission. The silence in hurt. The silence in emotion. And what not?

Sometimes silence can be comfortable and sometimes the opposite. True friendship comes only when the silence between friends is comfortable and cherished. Else, the relation may disappear into a silent night. Silence makes more impact than anything else, provided it is noticed. We, in this dynamic world don't have enough time to waste it on noticing the beauty of silence. Fall in love with silence. Fear it. Feel it. Enjoy it. There is much more in it than what we know.

ARGUMENTATIVE?? OR INQUISITIVE??

There is difference between being inquisitive and being argumentative. I myself am branded as argumentative by many. I don't accept things easily. I question to know the authenticity of anything. I would say myself as inquisitive and not argumentative. Had I been argumentative, I would not accept anything even after giving sufficient number of reasons. But how can I accept or agree to anything when I am not satisfied with the answers given. The answers given raise some more questions in me and my inquisitive nature comes to the fore. Is it wrong to be inquisitive? Is it wrong to question? Is it wrong not to be satisfied by an answer?Questions, again!!!!!!!!!!!!!

People get bored with so many questions and slowly people get bored with the person,i.e., me in this case. There have been many instances in which I was asked to shut up in a not-so-sharp way when I was asking many questions. But at the same time, these questions helped them too. There were instances in my 11th and 12th when my friends wanted me to ask the lecturers so many questions that they would stop teaching and leave the class. This really happened too. Once in a chemistry class, our sir was teaching something and explaining about the oxidation states of oxygen in inert gas compounds and I raised a doubt suddenly. He got so used to me that as soon as I raised my hand and asked that question, he said, “ I knew you would ask this question. I knew that YOU WOULD ONLY ask this question.” As soon as he said this, the whole class burst into laughter. But the question was not answered effectively.

When people are unable to answer me, they say I'm stupid to ask such questions. I say that yes, I'm ignorant. I'm foolish. You are so wise, right. Please answer my question and enlighten me. But again they say this is arrogance. Then how should I behave? I'm agreeing that I don't know anything. If you know, please let me know too. If you don't know, join me in asking someone else the same question and let us both get enlightened. Whatever it is, I keep on asking questions, whether you like it or not. Because, this is me.

Coming to the topic, this actually propped up in my mind when I heard about the book “ The Argumentative Indian” by Nobel laureate, Amartya Sen. The book outlines the need to understand contemporary India in the light of its argumentative tradition. He termed the Indians as argumentative, he himself being an Indian. He is a Nobel laureate and no doubt a great man. But, he shouldn't be commenting about Indians that way. Had he been staying in India and be an Indian, I wouldn't mind any criticism from him. But he is staying in some far away land and took the nationality of some other country and criticizing the people of his own mother land. This is just my view and not against any particular person or anything else. I would have valued the book much better, had it been named “ The Inquisitive Indian”, rather than “ The Argumentative Indian”. We, Indians are inquisitive than argumentative. Our inquisitive nature lead to many astonishing discoveries.

One such marvellous example is the discovery of infinity. Srinivasa Ramanujan questioned his teacher what was the result of a number divided by the itself, when the number is zero. This lead to the concept of infinity in mathematics. Encourage this inquisitive nature. Who knows, one may become another Ramanujan tomorrow. Or may discover something astonishing for the use of future generation. Don't stop them from asking questions by mistakenly branding them as argumentative. Have patience in answering the innumerable questions. If you don't know the answer, then you also have to know and learn something. :)

RUNNING FOR LIFE? OR RUNNING OUT OF LIFE??

Is the title confusing?? It was, for a moment, to me too. Later, when I sat down and put my thoughts down on it, it made perfect sense….at least to me. The former meant “running to live”whereas the latter meant “running to death”. Are we, by any chance, running out of life in the process of running for life? It may seem too philosophical for a guy of about 20 yrs of age to talk about such a topic. BUT, LET IT BE. These are the thoughts that would come to anyone’s mind if he sits alone in a pleasant weather on an evening watching the birds fly back to their homes at the dusk. But, first of all, in the present world where is the place to sit alone? Even if we find some place to be alone, when is the weather ever so pleasant? Where is the time to see the birds flying when we, ourselves, are busy in our own problems? Even if we had time, do we have the energy to come out and enjoy the beauty of the nature?

Take any person’s life. It all starts with that person cuddling up in his mother’s arms playing and puking, being transferred from one person to another everyone competing to coddle him and was feeling the warmth of every hand that holds him. Go to the times when he joined the school and learnt “Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise”. He goes to school regularly, comes back early, throws his small bag and goes out to play with his friends. He comes back, does his homework and sleeps well, without any tensions in his mind. This continues slowly for few years.

As he goes to the higher grades, expectations rise. He is expected to perform more and better. The weight of books burdens him. Slowly, the time to play reduces and will become zero one day. He studies, studies and studies. Higher up the grades come the 9th, 10th, 11th & 12th. In a country like ours, preparation for competitive examinations to get into a good university in graduation starts right then or perhaps even earlier. The competition is very high and hence, the pressures on this child increase. To meet the expectations, this child starts sleeping less using his sleeping time to work hard and study. Finally, the results come out and his hard work pays off. He is selected into a good university. It does not end here. He either has to pursue higher studies or get a job. For this, he has to become an all rounder i.e., excel in every field. He may take up playing again not for relaxing but for achieving all round excellence, of which sports are also a part of. He works and works and works hard 24 hrs a day to achieve his goal. He has already lost the habit of sleeping. Now, he’ll start talking less with his friends, to live up to his own expectations. Again, he ends up achieving what he wants. He leaves this university with a job or to some other university where the same process is repeated for two more years. Finally he is with a job. THE job he wanted. The PERFECT job for him. Now, his aim is to excel in this and go to the highest position possible. He works hard. He has to meet the deadlines. He spends all his time in the office, with his brain heated up. He even starts skipping his meals to complete the work. He is running out of time, and he is running to meet the deadline. Cutting the crap short, he has achieved the highest position.

Now, what shall we call him?? A winner? Or a loser? He has been winning everything everywhere from his childhood. He must be a winner. But, at the same time, he lost everything. He has lost his energy by skipping his meals and sleep. He has lost his friends working all the time. He doesn’t have anyone now. He has been running all his life to achieve success. Never stopped to take a look at the beautiful things around. Where did all this running lead to? At an age when he has to take rest and live a peaceful life, this person leads a life suffering from diabetes, BP and what not. Why are these diseases on an rise nowadays? Why is almost every person on this earth suffering from some such health problem? The reason is everyone is running and running and running throughout their life to run for life…to live a life full of happiness and success. He might have achieved success. But no happiness. He even cannot live his life fully. What happened??He has been running for life. But he ran out of life in this process.

A question may arise, where did the planning go wrong along this way? Everything has been so perfect. Top in the class from the first grade. Topper in everything. Hard work and sincerity, not to be questioned. Everything went on as per the ‘plan’. Then, why is this person in such a situation today?

All of us are in the same position as this man. We are running, because everyone around us is running. To catch up with the generation, we also run. Though a few may not be very much inclined towards it, they also run only to be along with everyone. We run so fast that we fail to notice the small beautiful things around us. We don’t notice people around us and don’t wait to have a word with them. We have become more objective with the sole aim to achieving the final goal. Where is the peace that was there in the childhood?? Where has the pure smile that used to be always present on our lips gone? How long ago did we have a perfect sleep of 8-10 hrs without any tensions?When did we talk to our friends in a caring manner? When did we greet someone good morning or good evening? Are we, first of all looking who is going down the road beside us? Or are we busy even to look at them??

Just slow down a bit and think. You’ll get answers for everything. You’ll know what you really want. You’ll know the happiness and success around you, in you. This is not just about you or me. It’s about everyone in the present world. Let’s walk, not run for our life. Enjoy every small detail in life. After all, life is to be enjoyed to the fullest and not to be left in parts.

P.S: This whole blog is about me too. (Just that I’ve not yet grown old enough to suffer from some disease. I’m healthy enough right now :P).

MOVE ALONG. Don't MOVE ON.

I never happen to understand the concept of ‘moving on’, though I am hearing it quite often now-a-days. When something bad happens, we just move on with life. Then I get a doubt. Are friends bad? Because, I am hearing the usage of this phrase more often coming with friends. Ask someone if he remembers his old friends and still in contact with them their answer will be mostly no (though, not always). There are exceptions always. Some say that they remember them and were in contact with them for sometime and then lost touch. Asked the reason, the reply will be usually we ‘moved on’. We get numerous mails in our inbox everyday citing the importance of friendship etc…blah…blah… We either delete them assuming it to be one of the bulk mails we get everyday or see them thinking that this is the nth time we are seeing the mail. But are we doing anything else other than that? Are we responding to those mails? Or just simply forwarding to a big group of people in our so-called friends’ list in our mails and later forgetting about it? Just sit back and think. How many of us are now really as close to our once-upon-a-time best friends as we were then? Are we saying hi to them at least once in a month? Or perhaps even once in a year?

Let’s start the journey from childhood. We have had many best friends in our primary school. We change schools. How many of those friends are still in contact with us? Then the high school!! By the time, we come to 11th and 12th classes, if we change schools again, we get busy in our own life studying, pondering over books to get a seat into IITs(thanks to the number of coaching centers for IITs coming up now from 6th standard itself). Then enter the college, the place where we learn to live (perhaps, forget also), we make new friends. And are we still in contact with the friends we have made and we have shared everything with during our school?? Don’t say that Orkut, Facebook etc. are for such people to keep in touch with old friends. Are we really checking on everyone of our old friends even through Orkut? We are on our way to make new friends, checking out every profile we come across, send a friend request and even create fake profiles to get their acceptance. Open our own profiles and we see a huge list of more than 300+ friends and boast among others that we have so many friends. But is every one among them really a friend? If yes, from how long? And for how long? How long do you think we will be in touch with the friends we have now? We simply “move on”.

We always wait for the other person to greet us or take the initiative. There is always an excuse, “I’ve done it many times” or “How many times should I be doing it?” or “Let him do it this time. I’ll wait until then”. And you keep on waiting. That day will never come. Perhaps the other person is also thinking in a similar way. He is perhaps waiting for you to greet him. That distance in exchange of words may change slowly into the distance between the hearts, and the friendship, the bond they’ve shared over the past few years is simply gone. And if someone asks what happened between us, we just reply “He moved on with his life. I moved on with my own”. When the other person is not doing something, why are we giving someone a chance to blame or criticize us, by doing the same thing? Isn’t this happening with everyone around us? Every one of us is either suffering or the person responsible for someone else suffering somewhere on the same planet. Is this what the education from pre-KG to PG taught us? To forget people? To “move on”? Then, are friends like things which we use until we need them and throw them later when we don’t use them anymore? Think about it. We perhaps are doing that. Making friends with people, sharing our happiness and sorrows, and then leaving them and “moving on”. Friends are there to share our lives. Not just happiness, not just sorrow, not just excitement, not just misery…..but everything, throughout our lives. It is better late than never to mend mistakes. They are ready to forgive you if you are ready to forgive them. Don’t give a chance for someone to blame you for the same thing you are blaming others. So, my dear friends, LET’S MOVE ALONG and not MOVE ON.

Can questions be answered?Do they need to be??

A basic question which props up in my mind now and then, why do I ask so many questions??Why am I so inquisitive about things? This is one more question. I know that I won’t be getting answers for every question I ask. Leave every question, I won’t be getting answers for almost all the questions I ask, except for a few. Even then I keep asking questions. I ask people or I ask myself. When I ask people, they think me to be stupid, stubborn, foolish etc..etc…etc…. When I ask the same to myself, I respond to it with another question and they continue. What reasons I find to be intellectual seems stubborn to many. What I find to be inspirational seems outdated to many. So, where is the fault? Is it inside me? Or is it inside everyone? If I say that the fault is in everyone, people say that I am overconfident and haughty. If I say that the fault is in me, I am undermining myself and giving a chance for everyone to blame me or criticize me. So…should I change myself? If I change, where does my own individuality remain? When I say this, people say it is ego problem. Some ask me to stop thinking about such things and control my mind. But did Albert Einstein or Srinivasa Ramanujan or for that matter, Socrates control their mind? Had they controlled, would they have become as great as we know them to be? They thought, let their brains and minds do their work and achieved what others could not. Does this mean that I want to be like them? Can I be like them? Can I even dream that? Yeah….dreaming is not a problem. Everybody has the right to dream anything. I can dream myself of killing Osama-bin-Laden or someone teaching Dr.A.P.J. Abdul Kalam the science of nanotechnology or Einstein the theory of relativity. Dreams, right? Anything can happen in them. Where do these many questions lead me to? Do they lead me to anything? Am I really expecting an answer for all the questions I’ve asked so far? What do I want?? Is this becoming too philosophical? Shouldn’t I be philosophical? Should only be a person renouncing his worldly pleasures be philosophical and not a guy of around 20 yrs of age be? Then, am I a person renouncing everything and taking up sanyasa ashram? Then, would I be a sitting in front of a computer writing this blog as well as doing everything everyone does in their normal life? Many questions to handle, right? I know. For every question you answer, I have a question ready for you. Finally(not really), is it good to be so inquisitive? Perhaps, after reading all this, I guess I can be sure that you’ll think of me to be the most complicated, complex, confused guy you’ve ever known. Am I really? “To be complex is simple, but to be simple is very complex”. Am I simple in a complex way? Or complex in a simple way? Now, you’re getting confused, right? Anyways, I’m leaving you in a state of confusion. Hope my next blog is not as confusing as this. I’ll try…..