Its been almost 7 months since I posted a blog. These months have been 'happening'. All this time, I wanted to write something. But on what could I write? On which emotion could I write? On which feeling could I write? I have felt every kind of emotion during this time. By the time, I try to pen down my thoughts on one particular emotion, the other comes in and pushes this one out. So, finally I'm writing this one in a position where I cannot 'feel' anything or any emotion could affect and in a state where I don't WANT anything.
I have been everything in this time. I have experienced acceptance and rejection at the same time, love and hate at the same time, like and dislike, cared and uncared for, weaker and stronger, and what not simultaneously. I was in a position where there were so many contradictions and the worst one was that I was contradicting myself. Can there be any worse situation? I don't think so. These moments have had a hard impact on me. But perhaps it is what that is supposed to happen. I guess this is what I am supposed to be and become.
There were a lot of feelings and emotions. I loved people. I hated a few. I liked some. I disliked some. I felt angry. I felt happy. I felt sad. I was ecstatic. I was crushed. I laughed. I smiled. I cried. I was weak. I was strong. I knew. I didn't know. I was jovial. I was serious. I listened. I talked. I dreamt. I lived. I did everything and nothing. I knew what I was. I didn't know what I was. But what did this make me? Did it make me anything?? What have I become??
There were a lot of feelings and emotions. I loved people. I hated a few. I liked some. I disliked some. I felt angry. I felt happy. I felt sad. I was ecstatic. I was crushed. I laughed. I smiled. I cried. I was weak. I was strong. I knew. I didn't know. I was jovial. I was serious. I listened. I talked. I dreamt. I lived. I did everything and nothing. I knew what I was. I didn't know what I was. But what did this make me? Did it make me anything?? What have I become??
ur were undergoing change..a part of evolution..even a metal feels irksome wen undergoing a change..y dont we humans do??
ReplyDeletea change which I didn't want?? a change from a position in which I'm very comfortable in?? a change which doesn't make me any better?? A metal when changed becomes better and pure. I'm not. :P
ReplyDelete